Its always night like this that my mind wonders around. Its been awhile since I'm feeling this way. Sad, anxious, alone. This empty feeling that has always been around. I've been seeking counselling to feel better but I couldn't be completely 100% honest. Opening up has always been a challenge. I couldn't admit to the counselor what was wrong, what was bothering me and all of that. Its so hard to admit that something is wrong with me. What makes things worse is that all of these has made my anxiety worse and all I want to do right now is die.

Death could be the only way to end of all this misery. People are always telling me that suicide is a selfish act, but is it really? No, I'm not being selfish. I just want to feel better and instead the one stopping you are the selfish ones, no? Despite all of these thoughts, I know I could not have the courage to end this. Something is holding me back.

But, I have reunited with an old friend. Someone who stops the anxiety, someone who stops all the thoughts. And maybe, things might get better. Might.