:/

Yesterday was 4th February. 

''Dearest'' 18th birthday. 

 I dont know if I should still call her 'Dearest' or not. 

I wished her a happy belated birthday today, and I dont know why, I suddenly teared up when she replied her thanks with that smiley face. 

Honestly, I dont know how to described my current feelings right now. It's just a mixed of everything. 

She used to be my best friend and fate-mate, she picked me up when I was at my lowest pit. We never had a fight in our two years of friendship until March 2011. 

When I decide to stop school and leave her behind. 

Truthfully, I felt really bad for leaving her behind, but I cant simply tell her th truth because she might think it's just a excuse of not studying. I wanted to tell her, but didnt instead. 

This caused our first and last arguements.

Since then on, I never contact her anymore, totally didnt talked to her. 

So when I told her happy birthday through facebook today, I felt really... weird. 

I actually miss her... my best friend. 

A little message for her, 

You're probably thinking I took this friendship for granted. Honestly, that's not my intention. I know I should probably tell you th truth on reasons why I did all this. You have been a greatest best friend in th whole wide world to me and I really appreciate that. I know this might be too late to say all this, but I just wanted to get this message across. I dont need you to forgive me, I just want to convey my feelings to you. 

Bottom line is, 

I'm sorry, 

-

I finally went out with Alicia and co(s) today with Love.

How I'm feeling today was how I used to felt last time. 

And, trust me, I dont like it. 

I thought things would probably be back to how it used to be, but, guess not:/

I dont know why, I felt so awkward.

It kinda made me feel weird insides, and its not a good feeling. 

Sigh. 

-

When things are going perfect, life just got to fuck us up again. 

Your's Truly, 

Sarahhh:x