Surprise, surprise. 

I'm back with updating my blog. Yay me. 

Sooooo, things doesnt seem to change at all and to be honest, I dont even know what I should do about it. Ohwell.

School's starting next month and staying home doesnt seem like a good idea. I mean, its so boring I'm starting to pull my hair out (not literally, duh). Then again, it does help me a little. 

Get my inner peace, earn some answers, and most importantly - being able to find myself.

Seems like I got lost halfway and all of the ''me-time'' is helping me. 

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I'm a complicated person and I'm waaayyy too tired to let people in and let them try to understand me. 

I dont want to spend another hour explaining myself when I dont neccessarily have to. 

I dont want to get a disappointing response anymore just because I was hoping they'll understand but they dont. 

NO. 

Enough is enough. 

If you dont understand why I'm upset, then dont try to. 

If you dont get why I'm having breakdown, then stop asking. 

If you dont know how to comfort me, then dont ask me whats wrong. 

Just shut up. 

I assure you, I can take care of myself

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For some reason, I'm getting more and more angry as I type all these. 

A few days ago, I was having a panic attack, in front of my friends. 

It was fucking embarrassing I just wanna crawl in the hole. 

And explaining it seems to make things worse because, at that point, I'm starting to hate myself. 

I mean, cmon, I was suppose to have a good time on the beach! Not fucking have a panic attack just because of the crowd. 

Not gonna lie, I was a little annoyed when they kept prying on the matter, I mean, cmon, I dont have the mood to entertain anyone's curiosity and I dont have answers to everything and I cant predict anything. Besides, I'm not stupid to fucking be in a spot where the crowd are! I'm smarter than that. 

Seriously. 

Then agaaain.... they're my friends...... 

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Longass post today. It's like 12:16pm and I came home an hour ago after watch Pacific Rim. Its like Transformers meet AlienVsPredator. Although, its nice of them to add an Asian female lead. 

The movie was sort of spontanous though. It was suppose to be a serious(not) pool competition with a friend, buuuut, obviously I lost. It hurt my pride, a little. Ohwell.

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G'night sunshines<3