I just had the worst week ever. Panic attack for more than twice, its just horrible. I kept crying at night, feeling angry, frustrated, upset, just negativity. I dont know what I'm suppose to do. I realised, its not that everyone is not here for me, but it's probably just me pushing everyone away, and its sad to say that include Boyfriend. 

I just cant stand being lonely. Crying doesnt seems to help, and no matter how much i try not to fucking cry, tears just rain down. 

I feel like im just gonna die all alone. It's inevitable. 

I think I'm gonna stay home for the rest of my life, and probably die and rot in my room.