I've been feeling like shit lately and I dont know why. Its not even about the hellish assignments, or about that girl. I just feel... down. 

I'm at a point in my life where I feel like I dont even deserve to live. I'm a weak and coward being and I cant seem to make anyone happy and satisfy. 

This feeling... is not new. Its been here and its here again. Except this time, no one knew. I couldnt tell anyone. Its not because I didnt want to but because I didnt know how to and keeping it to myself is just easier. I cant find words to describe how terrible this feeling is. 

Either way, I have to be strong.